The Osmotive
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Owner of fake imitation site leaks her own image...
Small boy dies after testing his new camera.
A small boy named Cancis Fousins fell of a cliff the other day when testing out his camera. He lent over a cliff edge to test out his 500m zoom whilst not realising he is falling. North Korea has banned zooming in after this incident. Here is an artist impression.
Rabid hispanic maids on the loose after taking horse paralysers with an unsterilised needle.
First they steal expensive items now they are steeling horse paralysers. They have been spotted running after the homeless in Brixton, London, UK. After a very short interview with a rabid maid we found out that they were after the bacon sandwiches that the homeless had obtained, illegally, from the local Cost-Cutter.
The Queen has been caught making extra money off assassinations.
The Queen has been running a small side business by offering a cheap assassination service on the dark web. you can find her service inked on the hidden wiki. Her service is purchase by Bitcoins, but she also accepts Dogecoin and Nyancoin.
A new african wild beast has been discovered.
This new animal which looks like a two legged horse has been spotted in the Southern Savannah. This animal cannot be named for legal reasons. If you wish to have your very on two legged horse one can be bought on www.ebay.co.za
Wild Malaysian pig on the loose.
This Malaysian pig broke out of its high security enclosure and has proceeded to digest 6 tourists around the farm it has been contained in. A SWAT squad was called and the pig has been sent to rehab. It was charged with murder under the influence of LSD.
Police have been called due to protests over testing drugs on animals.
The National Association for Usage of Drugs On Dog (NAUDOD) have been bombard with protestors as an image has been leaked of a dog taking shrooms on the internet. The police have had to hold back the protestors and investigate the quality of the shrooms used. Two policemen were later seen walking home with there kevlar vests worn as underpants and there hats filled with the water from the local lake.